And So Goodbye
by Trish
Summary: If you can't handle emotion then don't read.


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And So….Goodbye

By Trish.

Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon. Nor do I own the poem contained within. I only claim this story which is purely for entertainment.

A/N: _I've made you laugh, now we'll see if I can make you cry….._

The streets of Pallet were quiet that dreary morning, the sun hidden by the thick grey clouds, no chirping Pidgeys or Spearows to break the oppressive silence. The world felt dull and lifeless, which was how Delia Ketchum was feeling as she stood on the porch for some fresh air. It had been hard to get up this morning, she would have stayed in bed if not for the visitors that would be coming this afternoon. Mimey had tried his hardest to cheer her up, but to no avail, and she had thought that some fresh air would help lighten her mood. So far, it wasn't working.

As she gloomily surveyed her surroundings she noticed two figures coming down the road. It was a mother out walking with her son, neither one caring about the weather, just happy to be in each other's company. Delia's heart ached at the sight and tears burned in her eyes. _If only Ash were here_….she thought wistfully. She just missed him so much.

Afraid to let the two people see that she had been crying, she turned to go inside, shutting the sliding doors behind her. She took two deep breaths before proceeding up to the second floor of the house, where she gently pushed open the first door to her left. The curtains stirred slightly as she sat down at the old desk. This was Ash's room and everything was as he had left it - the battered Snorlax plush toy was still sitting on the floor, the Pidgey alarm clock was still keeping the time at the head of his bed. All were waiting to be used once again by their owner when he came back. But he hadn't come back, and would never be coming home again.

It had been a year ago today when Delia Ketchum's world came to an end. She remembered it so clearly - she had been happy that day, still treasuring the memories of Ash's recent visit home. Five weeks earlier she had been surprised to see her only son standing in the doorway with Pikachu on his shoulder and carrying two small bags. She had not expected him - Ash now lived at Indigo Plateau and due to a busy schedule, could only make a few trips home now and then. When he did, he would always call ahead to let her know, but not this time. What was also unusual was that this time he was quite alone except for Pikachu.

After she had settled him down in the kitchen with a cup of coffee and cookies, he gave the reason for his sudden appearance. Earlier today he had found out that he had three weeks with nothing to do before embarking on yet another League tour, so he quickly decided to come home. Nothing was wrong with him, he just needed to be home for a while, as for his friends, they too had gone to be with their families before meeting up with him again. Delia didn't pry any further, there was no need to. Her baby, her little boy was back home again for a while, and that was all she had ever wanted.

The next three weeks were the happiest that Delia had experienced for a long while. Ash was content to hang around the house, preferring to spend the time with his mom rather than constantly training his pokémon as was his usual habit. Nor did he seem to mind Delia's constant fussing over him, she wanted everything to be just perfect while her "baby" was back home. Then all too soon, the day came for him to leave.

She went through her usual routine of making sure he had packed everything, and gave her usual spiel about wearing "clean you-know-whats". Then it was time to say goodbye. Time for one last long embrace, not knowing when she would see him again. When she reluctantly let go, she was surprised to see her tears mirrored in her son's eyes. Then he hugged her again and whispered, "Bye Mom. You know that I'll always love you…..take care of yourself." After a few minutes he was gone from her sight.

That was two weeks ago, she had invited her sister and some of her neighbours over for lunch. They were happily chatting away when the police came to the door. They proceeded to give her the news that she never wanted to hear - Ash Ketchum, her only child was dead. He had died a hero, saving two children from a collapsing building before being crushed under a large ceiling slab. When she regained consciousness many hours later, it was to the sobering realisation that she was now very much alone in this world.

Once, her family unit had been complete - with a loving husband Matthew, Ash and herself. Once she had thought that nothing bad would ever happen to her family, that they would be together forever. But then Matthew had been suddenly taken from them, killed while trying to protect a young woman from being brutally attacked. Delia had been shattered but pulled herself together for the sake of a four year old Ash. The young widow made a silent promise at her husband's graveside - that their son, her son, would never want for anything as long as she lived.

From then on, Ash became the entire world to Delia. She devoted her whole life to ensuring that her only child would have every opportunity to grow up to be the best that he could be. She was very protective of him, afraid of losing the only person she had left, and worried about him so much that Professor Oak likened her to a momma bear with her cub. But she would never stand in the way of Ash's dreams which was why she agreed to let him go on his Pokémon journey even though she'd rather he stayed home. Ash's hopes, dreams and aspirations became hers, and when he was happy, she was too. So no one was prouder than his mom when Ash finally fulfilled his dream, becoming the World's Greatest Pokémon Master at sixteen. But four years later, he too was gone, aged only twenty, and his mother's whole reason for living was taken from her.

Delia had heard that the hardest thing that a parent could ever do is bury their own child. She found that to be so true. She had always thought that Ash would look after her in her old age, that he would be the one to bury _her_. Not the other way round.

The funeral was a huge affair, and because of Ash's status as the Grand Master, the Pokémon League paid for most of the funeral expenses. Delia had been supported that day by Brock and Tracey was trying to comfort her son's distraught girlfriend, Misty. The service was held at the Pallet Cathedral, which was packed to capacity. The Pokémon League Council was in attendance, as were the Elite Four. All the Indigo Gym Leaders were there - Flint, Daisy, Violet, Lily, Surge, Erika, Sabrina and her parents, Koga and Aya, Blaine, Jessie, James and Meowth (after quitting Team Rocket, they had teamed up with Ash to destroy the organisation, resulting in Giovanni's arrest and imprisonment. As a reward they were made the official Viridian City Gym Leaders). The members of the Orange Crew were there - Cissy, Danny, Rudy, Luanna and Drake, and near them, the gym leaders of the Johto League. Professor Oak and Gary were there, as were many of the people whom Ash had befriended throughout his journeys. Professors Westwood, Elm and Ivy, numerous Nurse Joys and Officer Jennys, Katrina, Richie, the old Hippie, Clevon Spielbunk among many others. Delia was touched by their presence, and they all said the same thing - that it was a privilege to have known Ash, for he had been like no other.

That sentiment was echoed in the thousands of letters which had inundated her ever since the news of Ash's death was released. People from all over had written to offer their condolences, and to write how they had met Ash and what he had done to help them. Delia had not known that Ash had managed to touch so many people's hearts and make a difference in so many people's lives in the short time he was on earth. She had no idea that his death would affect so many.

This past year had been very difficult for her, especially when it came to certain occasions like Christmas, Mother's Day and his birthday. She had often mused about suicide, but she never carried it out, knowing that Ash would not want her to do that because of him. So she continued on, and somehow she had made it to the first anniversary of his death, and would be hosting a small gathering of family and friends to mark the occasion this afternoon.

Delia came back to reality with a sigh. With nothing else to do, she picked out a book from the shelf - _The Last Battle_ by C. S. Lewis. That book was Ash's favourite, he loved the entire series of the _Chronicles of Narnia_, but he always said that the last book was the best. The story which told of the final battle of good versus evil in the mythical land of Narnia, with good ultimately triumphant had always fascinated him. As she flicked through the worn pages, an envelope fell out and onto the desk. Curious, she picked up the letter and tears came to her eyes as she saw whose handwriting it was. It was Ash's and the letter was addressed with a single word, "_Mom_".

She jumped a little when she heard a few thumps out in the backyard, tensing up a little bit until she heard an inquisitive little "Pikachu" coming from downstairs. She relaxed, the noise was only Ash's Pokémon returning from the Oak Laboratories. A few minutes later, a tiny yellow mouse scampered into the room and leapt onto Delia's lap with a happy squeal of "Pikapichu!" Delia smiled and scratched Pikachu's cheeks just the way she liked it, the mouse chirping contentedly. All of Ash's Pokémon were still living with her. She had tried to give them away to her son's friends but the Pokémon had refused to go with them. Even Misty couldn't persuade Pikachu to be her Pokémon - everyone had thought she would go with her for sure. But Pikachu refused - much to Misty's disappointment. She had not had a Pokémon to cuddle since Togepi had wandered too far from camp two years ago, never to be seen again. Three more times Delia made the attempt, and three more times they refused. She gave up after she realised that the Pokémon were just as stubborn as her son was, and would continue to resist any effort to give them away. A sudden outburst from Pikachu after the final attempt also sealed the decision. Delia couldn't understand all that Pikachu said, but she gathered that the Pokémon did not want to leave "Pikapi" or something like that. So it had been arranged that every day the Pokémon would take themselves over to Oak's Laboratories, where they got some exercise and the Professor gave them some training. Then after lunch they all made their way back and spent the rest of the day with Delia.

Pikachu noticed the envelope on the desk and hopped up to investigate. She sniffed the paper and then looked at Delia when she recognised whose scent it was. "Pikapi…" she chirped mournfully, her big brown eyes glistening with tears, looking so despondent that she nearly made her trainer's mother burst into tears. "Yes, it's from Ash," Delia managed to whisper, before getting up to pick up Pikachu with one arm. She slipped the letter into her skirt pocket, and looked down at the mouse with a tearful smile, "I guess we'd better get ready to greet our guests, hey Pikachu?" She left the room and went downstairs.

An hour and a half later, Delia and her guests were making their way through the cemetery to pay their respects. The gathering had not been as bad or as painful as she had thought it would be. It was rather nice to see Ash's friends again, they were all holding up pretty well - even Misty. She was still single though - she confided to Delia that she wasn't ready yet to date another guy, in fact she didn't know if she ever would. Finally they reached the place that they were looking for - two graves side by side with a row of trees not far behind them.

This was Matthew's and Ash's final resting place, in the lawn section of the cemetery, each with just a simple headstone to mark the spot. Delia walked forward and placed a small bouquet of red roses on the first for her husband, then a large bouquet of white roses on the second for her son. She gently touched the inscription - "_In Loving Memory of Ashton Robert Ketchum. 1992 - 2012. Beloved son of Matthew and Delia, and much loved grandson, nephew, cousin and friend. Never to be forgotten."_

She stood back as others placed flowers on the grave, followed by Ash's Pokémon who all placed a single flower for their trainer. Her brother made a small speech, followed by a prayer and a minute's silence. The group then slowly made their way back to the house, but Delia continued to linger. Soon Pikachu was the only one left, Delia had told the others that they wanted to spend some time alone, and they would come back when they were finished.

Delia fished the letter from her pocket before sitting down beside the grave, Pikachu hopping into her lap. She opened it and read the following words:

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15th September 2012

Dear Mom,

I feel really weird writing this but anyway…..If you are reading this letter then I am dead.

For the last two months I've had this odd feeling which I just can't shake off. I guess you would call it a gut instinct. Well, the feeling is this - that I won't be coming back from my next journey. That when I say goodbye to you tomorrow - it will be for all time.

I haven't told anyone about this. I guess I'm afraid that you will all laugh at me, make fun of these fears. I'm afraid that you wouldn't understand how much this has affected me.

This feeling, this instinct that I'm gonna die is not something to be easily dismissed. I've tried to, so many times - yet it keeps coming back to haunt me. That is why I came home so suddenly. I wanted - no, needed - to come home. For this will be the last time, I'm sure of it.

I'm sitting at my old desk, writing this final letter while everyone is asleep. Trying to put into words everything that I've wanted to say, but couldn't. Let me tell you, it isn't easy. I'm putting this letter where I hope you will find it sooner or later.

I know this is going to be so hard for you. First Dad, and now…me. Please don't stop living because of me - even though I know that after Dad died, I became the world to you. If I mean that much to you - then you will continue on - for that is what Dad and I would want.

I love you Mom. Although I may not have always showed it - you meant the world to me too. You are the best mother in the world that a guy could have, and I am proud to be your son. You have always supported me in everything I have done, you've never tried to stop me from fulfilling my dreams. Even after the incident in the Orange Islands where you nearly saw me killed, you still let me continue on my journey. I can't think of many other mother who would let their only child do such a thing. Thank you.

I'm sorry for all the trouble that I've caused you, and for all the times I made you worry. I know I have not always been the best son in the world, but I just want you to be proud of me.

Don't be too sad over my death - I've been very lucky and fortunate for someone my age. I achieved my life's dream and became the World's Greatest Pokémon Master. I've travelled to many different places, made many wonderful friends such as Pikachu (and all the other Pokémon), Misty, Brock and Tracey. I've had many exciting adventures and seen things that defy all understanding.

My only regret is that I will never fulfil my dream of growing old with Misty. Yes, I would have married her in the future, I have loved her since the very beginning. She is my soul mate - but you already knew that.

I'll miss Pikachu very very much - she was the dearest little friend that I have ever had. In fact, I'll miss all my Pokémon - every single one of them. They were my friends and family on the road - and I owe every bit of my success to them. Don't try to give them away - because they won't leave. I told them not to. I made them swear an oath on their honour as Pokémon that they would always protect you and never leave you. I needed to be sure that you will be looked after when I am gone. They and their descendants will be there for you as long as you live.

Don't worry about me - I'm going to a far better place, and I'll be with Dad. There is sixteen years worth of news that I will have to tell him. We'll be fine as long as you're okay, and we'll be there waiting for you when the time comes.

And so….Goodbye, Mom. I'll always be with you - just look inside your heart.

Do not stand at my grave and weep

I am not there

I do not sleep

I am a thousand winds that blow

I am the diamond glints on snow

I am the sunlight on ripened grain

I am the gentle autumn rain

When you awaken in the morning's hush

I am the swift uplifting rush of quiet birds in circled flight

I am the soft stars that shine at night

Do not stand at my grave and cry

I am not there

I did not die.

Love Forever

Ash.

Delia was quietly weeping as she lowered the letter. Her son had known he was going to die, and had taken the time to write one last letter of comfort to his mother. It was time to move on - from the grieving and time to start healing. She would get on with the rest of her life, but she would never forget Ash. He would live on in her heart - and she would always be his mother.

She finally got to her feet, brushing away bits of grass from her skirt, while cradling a sobbing Pikachu. Wiping away her tears, she managed to whisper, "Thank you, Ash." Then as she turned to leave, a single ray of sunshine broke through the clouds, and bathed the grave in a soft light.

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Author's Note: Okay, so don't kill me. Ash is my favourite character after Pikachu but I needed him dead for this fic, and I was depressed when I wrote this. So this whole thing could be written better, probably. Many people have been put forward as the author of the poem, but it is always published as 'Anonymous". Very beautiful and sad. I threw in a reference to my favourite children's book - "The Last Battle", the final book of the "Chronicles of Narnia" series by C. S. Lewis. I loved that series when I was little, and I think it is one of the classic children's books. 

If **Silver Dragon Phoenix** is reading this - about your request to e-mail you. Sorry, no can do. I tried twice and it bounced twice - "User unknown". So if you want me to contact you - you will have to e-mail me first. The address is in the profile.


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